hi welcome to EVIL matchmaker where the relationships are EVIL! these are the ships that involve obsession, restraining orders and a heaping helping of murder. maybe it's morally dubious, maybe it's cancelable on twitter, i don't really care. oh also some of these won't be ships in the romantic sense, some of these will be platonic or one-sided, i will specify if that is the case. letting you know now i will be talking about grevious bodily harm like it's romantic, if thats not your thing i'd recommend hitting that back button. fair warning, sometimes when i'm in a good mood i like thinking about these people getting better and falling in real love. that does not mean these relationships are healthy. remember kids! these guys are not your role models, if your boyfriend refuses to talk about his feelings and only expresses emotion through punching things, that's not your boyfriend, that's batman. and you really do not want batman to be your boyfriend!
so what on earth is going on here: batjokes man... classic enemies to enemies that stab each other homoerotically. goddamn. they're so... they're everything to me if i'm being real. they're horrible for each other but like... they're both so awful i'd never wish them upon anyone else. on one hand all i want is bruce to put a bullet through jokers skull (and it has to be a bullet... it just does... does it count as a corruption arc if he's already like the worst guy ever?)... on the other hand i want them to go to therapy and never talk to each other ever again. bruce's family man... they don't deserve to deal with this bs. imagine being alfred and having to watch the man who is basically your son orbiting this man who won't stop hurting your family and they keep making each other Worse. like god. they're so fascinating to me... i am personally preferential to comic batjokes where they're just... the worst... imagine fighting tooth and nail to get the man who murdered your son off death row (the joker: devil's advocate)? but i'm also a sucker for more child-friendly batjokes like in the lego movie.
horrible stuff they won't stop saying: uh well i actually own the tp for white knight! so i can look at this scene in glorious detail, i love the art for white knight, i'm not crazy about "joker goes sane" stories since they're almost always ridiculously ableist, and white knight isn't an exception but like man... LOOK at them. "we're a team, bats. admit it! that's our dynamic. all that's missing is the make-up sex." (batman: white knight vol 1 #1) i really like this one lol. joker's expression?? the fact that he's wearing his gay little fanboy outfit??? "you don't matter. not to me, not to gotham. not to anyone." okay it's funny you say that because i distinctly remember you telling joker that it isn't too late to turn over a new leaf and that you wanted to help him get better (batman: the killing joke - 1988) and i ALSO distinctly remember you fighting to save joker's life when he was on death row (the joker: devil's advocate - 1995) and i ALSO distinctly remember you saying and i quote "i'm just going to rest here a little while with my friend." (batman vol 2 #40). so idk man! i'm not calling the batman a liar but i'm totally 100% calling the batman a liar! uh i'm too lazy to get pictures now but more things i want to add "every breath you take you owe to me" (the joker: devil's advocate - 1995), the batjokes heartshaped pool of blood from endgame (batman vol 2 #40), the??? mask???? from deadly duo (batman & the joker: the deadly duo #2), new years kiss (batman: the long halloween - 2021), "i never thought it would end like this. him. me. our blood on each others lips" (batman: europa) (can't remember the issue rn). basically i have a lot to add because these assholes never stop.
so what on earth is going on here: i don't have a lot to say right now... will add more when i replay x but. come on man. i love corruption arcs sooooo much and these guys can fit so much corruption in them. sycamore being sad about how lysandre's life has turned out is sooooooooooo something to me. idk what that something is but man. kicking my feet a little over them tbh.
fan stuff: i will add recommendations here for fics and stuff eventually since most of the cool epic awful stuff about them is from fandom anyways... not right now though because i'm lazy.
so what on earth is going on here: watched scream the other day and now they're just. haunting me. like COME ON.... like fellas is it gay to??? do whatever that was. okay side note for sidtatum, i'm like watching scream like "why'd they go and kill her girlfriend in the middle of the romcom..." i can not take horror movies seriously. they're all gay romcoms if you think about it. anyways they're so????? i don't even have any words i can say about them because they're so??? the last scene??? that scene in the video store too??? like what is this. why do they conduct themselves in this manner...? like just what is this. what is going on here. someone explain it to me like i'm twelve. why is stu looking at him like that like... dude? and they stabbed each other??? like??? OKAY I GUESS??